Uninspired

Lately, I have been feeling a little uninspired about blogging. I even hate to refer myself as a blogger, as I don't see it that way. I mean don't get me wrong, I blog, therefore I am a blogger right? Even typing that last sentence just gave me the heebie-jeebies.

I guess it comes from a fear that people may think I am trying to compete with the extremely famous bloggers out there. I am not going to lie and say I don't want a sliver of their life. I mean, who doesn't like free clothes, shoes and bags? I live for all those things! 

To be honest, I started the whole blog thing as I enjoyed seeing other people's blogs and outfits, the very famous ones and the not so famous ones alike. I figure if I enjoyed seeing those from other people, then maybe I could contribute and the whole blog thing became sort of a creative outlet for me. For a very long time when I first started it, I really enjoyed it but there came a point where I felt it was too rehearsed and it started to become a chore. I really had to step back and think, who am I doing this for? Shouldn't I be having fun with this?

My intentions of starting this blog was not to become famous or known, it was something creative for me and at a time in my life where I had just been redundant from my job and had to re-think my options of what I was going to do with the rest of my life. I am still in the midst of finding that, but all I know is that I want to get into a creative field and be sorrounded by that day in and day out and this was sort of a platform.

My downfall is comparing myself to others. I mean who could compete with the Sincereley Jules and The Blonde Salad of the blogging world? Don't get me wrong, I am all for trying to reach your dreams and all that crap, but once you start trying to compare yourself and wanting to be like someone else, is where you will start to fail. What people see when they browse through these famous blogs are the big ticket designer items. Half the time, these items are either loaned, gifted to them, or probably sold to them at a fraction of the price. If you don't have the connections, you will probably need to purchase these items at retail price, just make sure it's an item you really want and not something you want to just show off to your followers so you can receive an "Ooh" or an "Aah" or an "Ooh, im so jealous you have that bag!". 

The point I am trying make here (if I had one to begin with) is that I am never going to be where they are. I don't have the financial means to be sporting a new outfit everyday. I wish I could afford a Sass and Bide piece a week, but my last Sass and Bide purchase was a dress they released 5 years ago, retailed for $500+ and I found it last year on eBay and won it for $52! It was something I always loved but I just didn't have $500 for a dress I was probably just going to wear once. I also won't conform and wear what everyone else is wearing. Everything you have seen me wear is something I would actually happily wear. There are so many items of clothing and accessories out there that I love and I love how it looks on others, but I would just look downright ridiculous in. Like the crop top and high waisted pencil skirts ensemble, I mean, I would die to get close to even fitting in a pencil skirt, but I have no where to wear a pencil skirt to, it's not in my everyday routine.

There was a point in my life where I bought what I "thought" I liked. I came to the realisation that I was shopping for my imaginary self. I'd be lucky to go to a formal engagement once a year, so why am I buying high heels every month? Am I wearing them to take the laundry out?

During these last few uninspired months, I also had to re-think about following these famous bloggers on Instagram. I found that each time they would acquire or post new items, that I would want it aswell. That's why they are a brand PR's wet dream for making poor saps like me want what they have. I also had to unsubscribe to a few magazines as I also found I coveted everything in each issue. First of all, I hardly ever leave the house, if at all, so where would I even wear half these things, if I had the means to acquire them?

I guess I have been very lucky that my boyfriend has supported me throughout all the negative stuff, it also helps that he has developed a love for cameras and he now insists on going to scenic places to take "blog photos" (his own words!), when it used to be me dragging him out of bed, and trust me, he LOVES his sleeps!

I guess my uninspired state has lead me to become a bit of a realist. I like that something negative gave me a silver lining. I will never be the girl on Instagram or on my blog to pretend I am doing something fancy when I'm not. If it looks like I am and I have posted about the same event more than 5 times, then it must be fancy and out of the ordinary for me.

Don't lose yourself.

xox